


Cross My Heart

by ideallyqualia



Series: Rare Pairs [82]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Birds, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Post-Canon, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 17:18:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12173322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ideallyqualia/pseuds/ideallyqualia
Summary: Kawanishi died, once.





	Cross My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Kawashira is around otp #3 so it kinda looks weird that I took so long writing a fic for them, but to be honest, I had a longfic and at first I wanted that to be the first kawashira I posted, but now it looks like it'll never finish, so I give up on it.
> 
> Kawanishi is a cockatoo here. [This shiratorizawa bird art](http://thepersonperson.tumblr.com/post/152619912566/shiratorizawa-as-birds-ft-angry-washijoutiel) is exactly what he looks like. This fic was inspired by [this](https://twitter.com/roku_urokoinko/status/824109889953873920) and [this](https://twitter.com/urokobuncho/status/886576548190445568). [This](https://twitter.com/FumiNyan777/status/884785858771013632) is what a baby cockatoo looks like. I think about bird AUs a lot.

Shirabu glared at the baby bird sitting on his table. He had warned Kawanishi to take care of himself while he was gone, an ordinary goodbye, but Kawanishi went and blew it out of the water like one last terrible joke.

Tendou told him when he got back from the airport. He was quiet and nervous, for once, and Shirabu wanted to revel in it, but if Tendou was being this way _to_ him, then it had to be terrible news. Tendou might've even been guilty of something.

"I think Taichi, uh, I think he died," Tendou said.

Shirabu stopped walking. "What?"

"You see, he died," Tendou tried again, but he couldn't say anything else.

"You _think_?"

"Yeah...he definitely died." Tendou scratched the back of his neck. "I wasn't there, so I don't know what happened, but..."

"But what? What is it?"

"So Eita went to check on him, since he wasn't answering anything, and..."

" _And_?" Shirabu snapped.

"He might've already reincarnated...?" Tendou had a very hard time keeping a straight face when he said, "Eita found an egg in Taichi's backyard."

Tendou didn't do anything, but at the same time he was very guilty of finding the whole thing hilarious. He had to have known that it was insensitive; when people were unlucky enough to die young, their loved ones traditionally held a funeral and made visits to shrines wishing them a safe journey to their next life. Shirabu didn't have the chance to have a mourning period at all.

To Tendou's credit, almost everyone somehow found humor in it. The only one Shirabu trusted to be serious about the situation was Ushijima, and Ushijima had the bonus of being experienced with animals, so he stuck with Shirabu and helped make sure Kawanishi didn't die a second time.

"Do you have any idea why he reincarnated so quickly?" Shirabu asked as he lowered his chin on the table and watched Kawanishi stumble on his new legs.

"No. It's unusual that he reincarnated in your lifetime at all." Ushijima gestured at Kawanishi, and Shirabu gently picked him up as Ushijima placed down another towel.

"I can't even yell at him. He's never going to be able to understand how mad I am at him for dying with no warning."

"Hopefully the two of you die together next time."

"Thanks."

"I mean this sincerely. The way his feathers are growing in, I think he's a cockatoo, so he should be able to have a long life, as long as a human. You might actually be lucky."

"I'm _very_ lucky," Shirabu complained. He continued watching Kawanishi.

This was the first time Shirabu had ever seen a baby bird, and even though it was Kawanishi, he was ugly. Knowing it was Kawanishi didn't change things. When Kawanishi first hatched he was a small pink blob without any feathers, and Shirabu almost gagged. Tendou took pictures.

Kawanishi had recently grown feathers, and the shape of his new beak had a cute charm, small like a goofy smile, but Kawanishi's death was still so fresh that Shirabu sulked about it instead.

"Have you talked to Tendou?" Ushijima asked.

Shirabu shot him a sour look. "No."

"It's been a couple weeks. Can't you forgive him?"

"Are you really going to tell me that it's _okay_ that Tendou laughed while trying to tell me that Taichi died?"

"It's not, of course, but I also don't think it can be helped. Semi and Yamagata laughed too."

"I don't want to hear this." Shirabu slouched in his chair and crossed his arms. "How long do I have to wait until he's no longer a baby? All he does is eat."

"In four or five more months he'll be able to take care of himself. It'll only take a few years before he becomes a full adult, relatively even older than us. He'll probably have all his memories by then."

"Great." Shirabu didn't think he could wait that long. It had taken weeks just for Kawanishi to open his eyes and be able to see.

 

* * *

 

Shirabu refused to talk baby-talk to Kawanishi. He was still a small little bird, but by now he had a face, and he could weakly climb things and screech for food. The needle-thin feathers were starting to grow into real feathers. Shirabu truly appreciated that fact; the needles gave Shirabu a visceral reaction, worse than just seeing an ugly baby.

The doorbell rang. Shirabu didn't trust Kawanishi to be alone for one second, so he scooped him into a hand and opened the door with the other.

"So you finally caved," Yamagata said as he walked in.

"If you're only here to laugh, then leave," Shirabu said.

"No, I'm not. I'm seriously sorry." Yamagata locked the door for Shirabu and let him handle Kawanishi. "So this is him? He's starting to look like a real bird."

Part of the reason Shirabu let Yamagata visit was because he owned chickens. Shirabu considered them close enough to parrots to allow Yamagata near Kawanishi.

"Yamagata. Do you actually know what you're talking about when it comes to birds?"

"Of course I don't know anything about pet birds. I just grew up with chickens because of my sister and I can't get rid of them."

"No... I'm pretty sure you like having them." Shirabu readjusted Kawanishi in his hands. "Just help me. I've already taken enough sick days off work, and so has Ushijima."

"He's not that much of a baby, is he?"

Shirabu narrowed his eyes. "I do _not_ want him dying again."

"Right." Yamagata held out his hands, and Shirabu very carefully lowered Kawanishi into them.

Yamagata poked him. "Hey, he's small and fluffy. He's pretty cute." Kawanishi didn't do anything but let himself be poked.

"Don't bother him." Shirabu approached the doorway and pulled on his coat and shoes. "I'm leaving now. Take care--" Shirabu stopped himself. "Don't die this time."

"Way to have confidence in me, Shirabu."

"It's Taichi I have no faith in." Shirabu hurried out the door.

 

* * *

 

Reincarnating at the same time as someone else was an unreliable wish. Either you reincarnated at the same time to grow up around the same age, or you didn't appear together at all for an entire lifetime or two. Shirabu didn't understand much about the coincidence of the phenomenon, but his boyfriend sitting alive in front of him as a bird had to be against any laws of karma.

Kawanishi quickly grew into a mixed state of boredom and apathy. He had the same unreadable eyes, and the familiarity surprised Shirabu so much that he asked Ushijima about it.

"I doubt he's remembering anything. He's only a few months old." Ushijima glanced at Kawanishi sitting under Shirabu's stroking hand, who was looking back at Ushijima with squinted eyes. "The more important thing to consider is, do you know why Semi found the egg in the first place?"

"No. What do you mean? You mean where'd it come from?"

Ushijima gave a stiff nod. "I have news about who his bird parents might be."

"No," Shirabu said right away. "I don't think I really want to know or care."

"Are you sure? They're the pets of someone you know."

"I want to know even less." Shirabu's hand pushed on Kawanishi too hard, and Kawanishi squawked.

Ushijima clasped his hands together on the table. "Kawanishi might want to know."

"Tell me. Do you remember anything about your memories from your past lives when you were an animal?"

"Yes."

"Do you remember a lot?"

"Well..."

"You barely remember anything, do you?" Shirabu heaved a large sigh. "Taichi'll get his memories back, in a few years, but he's probably not going to be able to keep any new memories like this until his next human life." His shoulders deflated with another sigh, quieter. 

"I know you're disappointed, Shirabu, but you get to tell future Kawanishi about everything that happened when he lived like a bird. And in this life you should definitely be able to have genuine conversations with him. He just won't be able to remember them when he dies again. And even then, that might not happen. You said so yourself."

Shirabu returned to petting Kawanishi with appropriate softness. "So I'm stuck with the parasite stage of Taichi's life cycle," he complained. He flattened his hand on the top of Kawanishi's head, and Kawanishi inclined his head forward and closed his eyes.

Like dreams, reincarnation wasn't well understood. Ushijima couldn't say anything against Shirabu's parasite remark.

"I'm positive Taichi wouldn't care about bird parents, anyway," Shirabu added.

 

* * *

 

Shirabu tried making Kawanishi's favorite food. Kawanishi was old enough to have preferences, throwing unwanted food everywhere and especially at Shirabu, and Shirabu took note of it, hoping it was the same food the old Kawanishi would've hated too. He also hoped that offering Kawanishi's favorite food would speed up the memory process.

"Hey," Shirabu called out to him. "Lunch is ready."

Kawanishi flew in from another room and landed on the back of a kitchen chair.

Shirabu hesitated. "You better not burn yourself."

Kawanishi warbled unintelligibly, and Shirabu sighed and served him a bowl. According to everything Shirabu read, soup wasn't dangerous to pet birds, so he offered Kawanishi his old meatless recipe. Nothing changed when it came to mealtime; Shirabu had always been the cook.

Kawanishi ate much less than his human self would have. When he finished, he stole Shirabu's chopsticks and broke them in half. This was the reason Shirabu hid the fancy chopsticks and used only cheap ones or wooden disposable ones from restaurants.

"At least throw them in the trash," Shirabu said.

Kawanishi turned his head with deliberate eye contact and dropped them on the floor.

"The trash can is _open_ , Taichi." Shirabu crouched to collect them as he continued to wordlessly complain. By the time they were in the trash, Kawanishi was gone.

"This isn't funny. Where are you?"

Despite the obvious hiding attempt, Kawanishi tittered, and Shirabu swiveled to the sound. Kawanishi was on top of the fridge, crouched underneath a cabinet. He was too far inside the alcove for Shirabu to reach him.

Shirabu pushed a chair closer and stood on it. Kawanishi was still too far away, and he was scooting further by the second, his eyes blank with fake innocence.

Shirabu grabbed an extra pair of wooden chopsticks and extended them until Kawanishi clamped his beak onto them. Slowly, Shirabu tugged and pulled Kawanishi out. Kawanishi remained flat on his stomach as he was dragged, warbling wordless muffled mumbles.

Shirabu let him break the chopsticks and play around with them between his beak and feet as he turned him onto his back to cradle him. "The next time you shove yourself into a tiny space, I won't be surprised if you break a feather. Don't come crying to me when that happens."

Kawanishi poked a chopstick into Shirabu's cheek. In other words, Kawanishi wasn't listening.

 

* * *

 

The very first time Kawanishi spoke, Shirabu dropped his bowl of rice. The voice was exactly Kawanishi's voice. If Kawanishi hadn't been asking for another piece of broccoli, Shirabu would've mistaken the moment for a memory of Kawanishi's human life in his own mind.

"Say that again," Shirabu said. Kawanishi reached for Shirabu's hand and nipped him instead.

He took off flying with low stifled laughter. Before Shirabu could catch him, he landed on the rod of a curtain and perched there.

Shirabu ignored him and stooped to clean the rice off the kitchen floor. His phone rang.

When he hurried to the living room, he found Kawanishi already fiddling with the phone on the table. Tendou's voice streamed in from the speaker.

"Hey, Kenjirou, are you there? Earth to Kenjirou? I can't hear you."

"I'm busy," Shirabu said in a loud voice across the room as he came closer.

Kawanishi bent his head to the phone. "Who is this?"

Tendou didn't say anything for a moment. "What the fuck. Is this a joke? Kenjirou?"

"Who is this?" Kawanishi repeated.

Shirabu yanked the phone away, turned the speaker off, and held it to his ear. "I don't think Kawanishi knows what he's saying yet."

"Oh. Well, maybe I should come over and see him! I haven't talked to him in a long time."

"Did you hear a word I said?" Shirabu snapped. "He can't _talk_."

"But if he saw me, he might remember me."

Shirabu glanced at Kawanishi. Hearing Tendou's voice didn't do anything to him, other than send him tilting his head in curiosity. Even then he was opening and closing his foot in the air for a snack.

"He looks more interested in snacks than the prospect of talking to you."

"No fair. At least let him know I'm here."

"He clearly heard you speak."

"How should I know? I can't see a thing."

Shirabu lowered the phone. "Taichi, do you want to see Tendou?"

"Who?" Kawanishi asked.

"Yeah, he doesn't remember you."

"I'm coming over."

Shirabu hissed at him, but the phone call cut off. He threw the phone at the couch.

Kawanishi raised his foot again.

"He's coming over, and it's all your fault, so no," Shirabu said.

Kawanishi raised his crest. Shirabu couldn't tell if he was interested or scared.

Tendou arrived within minutes. As Shirabu opened the door, Tendou ducked under his arms to look for Kawanishi, swiveling around.

"He's in the living room."

"How is he?"

"He's a bird."

"Thanks for the heads up." Tendou turned and headed into the room with his arms out. "Taichi! Gimme a hug! I haven't seen you in forever."

Kawanishi looked him over. He flapped to make his way to Tendou's arm, and then he perched there, his weight sinking the arm.

"If you do anything wrong, he'll bite you," Shirabu warned.

"You don't mean that."

Shirabu raised an eyebrow. "Just don't bug him."

"I'd never do that." Tendou bent closer to Kawanishi and stroked his head. "You're so cute like this, Taichi. You wouldn't bite me, would you?"

Kawanishi closed his eyes and flicked his tail.

"Do whatever you want, then." Shirabu went back to the kitchen to finish cleaning. He took a seat when he was done, around the same time he heard Tendou scream.

Shirabu let out a heavy sigh. "What happened, Tendou?" he called out.

"He bit me!"

"Is he okay?"

"He _bit_ me!"

Shirabu got to his feet and returned to the living room, only so he could congratulate Kawanishi. "He better be okay." Shirabu pried Kawanishi off Tendou's arm and raised him to eye level. "He didn't accidentally hit you or anything, right? I wouldn't be surprised if he did after he screamed and lost his head." Shirabu scratched his neck, and he squawked.

Tendou opened his hand. "Look."

"You're not even bleeding."

"Oh, so you think this is funny." Tendou rubbed at his hand.

"It's just, I _warned_ you he'd probably bite. You're new to him right now. What'd you expect?" Shirabu moved his hand closer to his shoulder, and Kawanishi climbed there and settled next to Shirabu's head.

"I hope he screams at 3 in the morning and wakes you up."

"He already did when he was a baby. I've forgiven him." Shirabu patted Kawanishi's head.

"Yeah, I guess I believe it. You forgive him for a lot of things you wouldn't usually forgive." Tendou hummed. "Do you remember that one wing spiker from Seijou, Iwaizumi Hajime?"

"Why're you bringing him up?"

"Did you know his cousin has pet cockatoos? He had to babysit them a few months ago. They got loose, and he tore through Sendai trying to find them."

Shirabu's eyes narrowed. "You don't mean..."

"Obviously they're Taichi's parents. You should've seen him, he was actually crying! Wakatoshi had to help him, 'cos he couldn't put up any posters without someone telling his cousin, and--"

Shirabu set Kawanishi on a chair and threw a nearby cup of water at Tendou. " _I didn't want to know_."

"Really? Why not?" Tendou asked.

By the wide grin on Tendou's face, Shirabu could tell Tendou already knew.

"And were you just laughing about Iwaizumi crying? You really are a terrible person."

"No, _that_ wasn't funny. He's an ugly crier, did you know? Just, the whole situation was funny, and Wakatoshi had to get involved."

"Taichi, feel free to bite him again." Shirabu gestured at Tendou.

Tendou's face fell, and he raised his hands. "Taichi, if you behave, I'll buy you all the bird toys your little bird heart desires."

Kawanishi opened his wings and squawked, his eyes on Tendou.

Tendou ran out the door without a word. Kawanishi never jumped off after him, but Shirabu rushed to lock the door before Kawanishi could fly out and get lost.

"Do you even like bird toys? You rarely touch them," Shirabu said as he petted Kawanishi.

Kawanishi blinked. His eyes were almost always empty and unreadable, and being petted and stroked didn't change them. He sat still with quiet consideration as Shirabu petted him, swaying only slightly when Shirabu rubbed his face.

"You like that, huh? Figures." Shirabu cuffed him on the head and sat on the couch. Kawanishi hopped down beside him and skipped to the armrest furthest away from Shirabu.

The TV blared on, and for half an hour, Shirabu watched, thinking that Kawanishi was watching with him. Then he heard a mangled shriek.

The armrest was riddled with holes. The stuffing was ripped out and lying on the floor, and the wooden skeleton structure underneath the couch's armrest cushioning had large bite marks. Shirabu glared at Kawanishi.

"The couch now?"

He slid to the floor and gathered the stuffing in his hands. Kawanishi silently watched, leaning forward from his mutilated perch to get a better view.

"I'm going to charge you interest on everything you destroy, all the way into your next life."

Kawanishi chirped. Shirabu knew it was useless; they had the relationship of an eternal bond, and anything they spent came out of their shared pocket.

Shirabu picked up Kawanishi and carried him into the old guest room -- Kawanishi's room.

"You're not allowed in the living room until the couch's fixed."

Kawanishi flapped down to the floor and waddled to a fresh cardboard box. Shirabu chose to close the door instead of watching Kawanishi destroy something else.

 

* * *

 

Kawanishi grew out of his awkward puffy down feathers and into a set of feathers that could help him fly. At Ushijima's suggestion, Shirabu clipped the feathers before Kawanishi got himself into new trouble.

"No more flying," Shirabu told him.

"I want to," Kawanishi said, but it didn't have any conviction or inflection that meant he understood himself.

"This is for your own good. You're helpless." Shirabu handed him a small plate of vegetables.

Kawanishi stepped forward and buried his head into the food. Shirabu sat across from him and ate his own meal. He couldn't enjoy it in peace for long, as Kawanishi moved on to terrorize his bowl and stick his head in to look.

Shirabu set aside a pile of steamed vegetables and dumped them on Kawanishi's plate. "Don't steal from me."

Kawanishi lifted a piece of carrot with his foot and nibbled at it. He finished and returned to pilfering scraps from Shirabu.

Shirabu grunted. "Taichi, aren't you full already?"

"I'm full," he said before he dug in for another bite.

Shirabu elbowed him away. "Stop it. I'm hungry."

"Sure," he said, and Shirabu almost thought that his sarcasm was back.

But then he told Yamagata, and Yamagata disagreed.

"He's probably just picking up on your own sarcasm. Maybe you don't notice that you do it so often?" Yamagata asked. He tore off a piece of bread from his sandwich and tossed it to Kawanishi.

Shirabu crossed his arm in front of Kawanishi to shield him. "Don't give him scraps. He needs to stop getting used to having so many snacks."

"Isn't that your own fault, then? You shouldn't spoil him in the first place. I'm just a guest here." Yamagata smoothed his hand over Kawanishi's crest feathers. "Has he been stingy?" he asked Kawanishi.

" _Stingy_?" Shirabu's mouth snapped open and closed. "I'm the _only_ one that cares about his health."

"You were spoiling him not too long ago, though."

"If you're so knowledgeable, then _you_ take care of him for a few months nonstop."

Yamagata nudged Kawanishi back to Shirabu. Kawanishi chirped as he was handled.

"I'd rather not," Yamagata said. "But I'm telling him you tried to get rid of him when he's human again."

"He'd never believe you."

"Have you ever acted like you like birds, or any pets or animals at all?"

Shirabu gathered Kawanishi to his chest. "That doesn't matter. I never said I hated them. I probably even was one at some point."

"What would you do if this wasn't him? What if this was the wrong bird?"

"He has his _voice_." Shirabu glanced at Kawanishi and watched him climb his shirt to rest on his shoulder. "But like I said, it really doesn't matter if he's an animal. I could be allergic to olive trees, and he could be an olive tree, and I'd still...take care of him."

"I'll take your word for it." Yamagata scratched Kawanishi's neck, his fingers curling gently. "I heard Satori visited the other day."

Shirabu rolled his eyes. "I don't really remember what happened, but he was annoying, and Taichi kicked him out."

"You don't even remember what happened? Wow." Yamagata tilted his head to face Kawanishi with a better angle. "Has he been annoying?" he asked in a high-pitched voice.

Kawanishi stared back at him blankly.

"Yeah, he doesn't like that," Shirabu said. Yamagata ignored him and continued to try talking to him in a baby-talk voice until Kawanishi pushed him away with his foot, prompting Yamagata to leave.

 

* * *

 

As much as Shirabu complained about cleaning up after Kawanishi, he didn't notice how much time passed until Kawanishi's first birthday arrived. Ushijima came with a bird-friendly cake, and Yamagata with bird-friendly pancakes.

"Do you know how long this'll take for him to eat? It'll go bad," Shirabu said.

Ushijima and Yamagata looked at each other.

"I didn't think of that," Ushijima said.

"He has a point."

Shirabu sat down with a knife and fork, and he cut the cake into wafer-thin slices. He patted the table and called Kawanishi to sit.

"Since this is the one-year anniversary since his death, I've also brought flowers." Ushiijima laid them down on the table across from the cake.

"It's not the exact date of his death," Yamagata whispered to Ushijima.

"I thought Shirabu would want to be alone on that day."

Shirabu angled the flowers toward Kawanishi. "What do you think? Does it make you sad?"

Kawanishi tore off a few petals and leaves to chew. He spat them back out and returned to the cake. Shirabu relocated them to the counter, where he collected them into a vase.

Ushijima looked on in horror. Yamagata patted him on the back, grinning hard instead of laughing.

Then Shirabu went for his own piece of cake, and Yamagata and Ushijima both ended up laughing. Shirabu grimaced and choked out the cake into a napkin.

"Ushijima, that was disgusting."

"That was for Kawanishi. It has bird food."

Kawanishi leaned forward and peered at Shirabu, his eyes wide. His beak opened.

"Go ahead, I don't want it." Shirabu shoved the plate at him.

Kawanishi kept watching him, and after a minute, he gestured with his foot at the cake.

"I'm  _not_ going to eat more," Shirabu said.

"Aww, that's cute, I think he thinks Shirabu likes it." Yamagata pushed the cake to Shirabu. "Eat it."

"No. And that's not what he's thinking."

"I can call Satori and get him to come over," Yamagata said.

Shirabu weakly scowled and forced a small piece of cake into his mouth. Kawanishi didn't eat the cake until Shirabu did.

 

* * *

 

Kawanishi made faces sometimes -- he grimaced, gaped, choked, and laughed, and once in a while, he managed to smile through a crooked shape of his beak.

One morning Shirabu caught Kawanishi squinting at him, his normal neutral demeanor replaced with something between suspicion and recognition. He kept his distance from Shirabu and from his food and belongings. The only thing he did was eye Shirabu from his perch.

Shirabu called Ushijima. "I think Taichi's sick. He's not doing anything."

"What's wrong? What makes you think that?"

"He's not doing anything," Shirabu repeated flatly.

"Right. I'll be there in a few hours after work." Ushijima hung up.

Shirabu had work as well, but he had also squeezed out as many sick days as possible from his employer, and used them all for Kawanishi. A fledged and intelligent Kawanishi full of over a year's worth of life experience wasn't as bad for Shirabu's heart as a helpless baby Kawanishi, but Shirabu still couldn't let him be alone for too long.

Shirabu led Ushijima to a subdued Kawanishi sitting quietly on a perch. Unlike curtain rods, shoulders, or miscellaneous house objects, he stood on a real perch that Shirabu bought specifically for him, a perch stand in the middle of the living room.

"He's not sick," Ushijima said after consideration.

Shirabu's eyes narrowed. "Then what's wrong?"

"I think his memories are returning. It would explain the weird looks he keeps giving us."

"Then why is he avoiding me and looking sad?"

"I don't know." Ushijima gave a stiff shrug. "It could be anything, any possible memory he ever had. This could also just be his reaction to the memory recovery process, and not because of any specific ones."

"Great." Shirabu turned to Kawanishi. "Did you hear that? What's wrong?"

Kawanishi shifted side to side on his feet, slowly and unexcited. Shirabu hurried to the kitchen and returned with a slice of watermelon. Kawanishi didn't react.

"Hold on." Ushijima went to the kitchen next, and he came back with a bowl of sliced apples.

Shirabu bristled. "Don't just go into my kitchen and mess around in there!"

"All I did was cut some apples."

"My kitchen is my territory."

"But I go in there all the time when I watch Kawanishi for you," Ushijima said.

"I'm _here_."

"I don't understand?"

Kawanishi laughed, and the sudden noise sent Shirabu swiveling. Kawanishi was flapping his wings and laughing hard. For one second Shirabu remembered what this exact humiliation felt like, human Kawanishi laughing at his expense.

"Stop laughing," Shirabu complained.

Ushijima placed the bowl down. "I'll leave this here for you in case you change your mind," he said. Kawanishi immediately descended onto it with a flutter of his clipped wings.

"At least he's not sulking anymore." Shirabu claimed a chair near the table Kawanishi was eating on, and Ushijima did the same. Shirabu handed him half the watermelon.

"Thanks."

Shirabu faced Kawanishi. "Taichi, you have got to tell us what happened."

Kawanishi paused. "Get me more apples."

"This is already too much for you. You're just one bird, way smaller than us." Shirabu removed a few slices from the bowl, and Kawanishi sent him a glare. It was the most lucid and familiar glare Shirabu had ever seen from him as a bird.

"Aren't you getting full, Kawanishi?" Ushijima asked.

"Not really."

"I'm positive he's starting to come back," Shirabu told Ushijima. "He's starting to actually completely sound and act like him."

"I remember, too," Kawanishi said. Then he noticed the empty bowl, and in protest, he clamped his beak on the edge of the bowl, cracking it.

"Fine, so what do you remember?" Shirabu asked, ignoring the damage.

"I died. Vaguely."

"No one dies vaguely."

"I _remember_ vaguely." Kawanishi turned to flip upside down on his perch. He swung too low and hit his head on the stand, and Shirabu scrambled to pick him up. He scooped him into his arms.

"You're still a really hopeless bird," Shirabu said.

Kawanishi reached out for the perch, and when Shirabu let him go and returned him, he quieted and sulked again.

"You shouldn't have reminded him," Ushijima said.

Shirabu gritted his teeth and opened his mouth, but he closed it instead of talking back. They both grew quiet and watched Kawanishi and waited for him to do or say something else.

Shirabu couldn't tell if Kawanishi was going to recover his memories in spurts, or in gradual events, and that was when he realized that really he didn't know that much about reincarnation if he was forced to be in the dark.

**Author's Note:**

> (General A/N): Not looking for concrit; don't leave any.


End file.
